Sunday, March 12, 2006

an average day morning in my kitchen


...if only

Which Famous Revolutionary Are You?

Nelson Mandela

“I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities."

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Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.
Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship.
You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Saturday, September 10, 2005


how valuable are opinions? Are they really that important? Does it really change anything? I'm not sure, but I come from the school of thinking that you listen, think, create opinion, and discuss. I can't understand people who listen and then.... nothing. I just don't. I'm having issues with this because of a boy. I'm been casually seeing this guy and I'm not super into him, but there is potential. Really really nice, perfect gentleman, good intentions, respectful, technically the good guy. Not that jaded so certain things are still charming to him. I kind of have been distant cause I feel that we are too different, in the sense of adventure. Not in a "let's bungee jump of Mt. Everest", but I feel that are are two types of people in the world, those who want to see Mt. Everest and those who say I saw in National Geographic, why see it in person? Or I saw the local mole hill in my town of 5,000, I do not need to see Mt. Everest. Not everyone has the means to do what they desire, but I love the desire. That's what keeps me going. I simply do not understand people who don't have the desire.

Anyway, this boy has the means, but no desire, so I figured no big deal since its probably a summer thing, so why worry. So now I'm getting to know him and we ran into an issue last night. We were discussing the hurricane. I have my views, that tend to be more liberal, but I just wanted to hear what he thought, and I got nothing... no response. We talked about a little earlier that night over dinner and the first thing he mentions is how he thinks his insurance premiums will be increasing due to the hurricane. I was shocked. This is the first time we've really talked about it, and this is the first thing he had to say????!! It reminded me of the time when an hour after 9/11, a high school friend of mine called to let me know that gas prices would be through the roof because of the Middle Eastern connection. In either case, I was like "did you miss the main story?" Did you miss the part where thousands of people died? Did you listen or digest it? Anything?? I don't get it. I really don't. Are they being ignorant or are they being smart in the sense of why care about something that doesn't affect you? Are they being stupid becuase they aren't seeing how it affects them (in a general human context) or smart because that is the first thing that the see (higher gas/insurance prices)?

Today, I still can't wrap my head around it. How do you just not care? Especially these days...everything is at your fingertips. I've always grown up in an international context, but plenty of my friends haven't. I guess I've always been surrounded by opinionated people, and maybe have avoided people who don't have opinions. I just wanted to hear something from him, agree or disagree with me, it doesn't matter. I'm not the most emotional person out there, I've even been described to have a heart of stone, but when I watch TV these days, I just start crying. To just see human sufffering at its rawest, instead of human suffering at its superficalist ("Nobody likes me because I have jiggly arms"), it just gets to me. I really can't comprehend feeling anything less. I'm not saying that by feeling these emotions I can magically save anyone or prevent tragedies like this from happening, but I know what needs to be done to prevent similar events from occuring. After seeing children wandering with no parents and the elderly dying because of lack of adquate medical supplies, if the first thought in my mind is "man that sucks, gas prices will go up the roof", I would want to shoot myself.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

pet peeves

this is going to be a new weekly catagory, basically me whining about what annoys the hell out of me. Today's rant: chicks who take forever to get ready, but 4 hours of god know what, they look plain. what the fuck? I'm a girly girl and I love products, makeup, fashion and mirrors. i'm just sick of these girls who take so damn long and then there is no fucking diffrence. it looks like you took a shower, blew dried your hair and then put some heels on. That took four hours??? Now, i know there is that whole "au natural" look, where it looks like you have no make up on and all that, but a) that's for work not saturday night, and b) are you that retarded that it takes you 4 hours do to this? Sorry, I shouldn't put retards in the same catagory as these morons.
Now its a totally different story if you are a drag queen or if you are a female trying to look like a drag queen, that is a lot of work. Also, if you know it takes this damn long and you start getting ready at 7pm to go out at 11, you are semi ok in my book. But if you are these dumbass bitches that can't figure out if you want to go out or not til 10pm and then you expect everyone to wait, man, i'm ready to kill you. You go out every weekend! It takes me about 20 minutes to get ready, 45 if i'm going all out with hair, makeup and shit (which occurs about twice a year). Plus, you are going out to get drunk, everyone else is drunk, do you really think that some dude that's trying get you into bed is going to notice how precisely your eyeliner was put on, assuming its not some cheap ass walmart shit, and it hasn't already melted down your face?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

the bag i want...

ahhh. i can just feel the leather. I'm sure everyone has seen this bag in all the Fall ads. I actually hate logoed things, but this is so subtle, I can handle this. What someone else should handle is the price tag.

Surprise, Surprise

Wow, Bush picked a white conservative male as his Supreme Court nominee. And to think I actually thought he would pick a woman. Silly me!

Saturday, July 09, 2005

having a george moment

My friends call me George Constanza...
sadly, I'm beginning to see why.
I have a huge problem saying no. I just can't do it. Mainly I feel that it will hurt the other person's feelings. and so by not saying no, I avoid this pain upon them and me, by not being responsible for the pain. But then I turn it around and make it seem like its their fault. Example:
My neighbor: Knock knock
Me (being v. quiet so he will think i'm sleeping) Thinking: "damn it, what does he want? I don't want to hang out with him. i need my me time. plus if i tell him my plans for the night, he will want to tag along."
My neighbor: knock Knock
Me Thinking: "AHHHHHHHH!!!!! why isn't he going away? I'm "working"-shopping online as I look for jobs- seriously! how annoying"

Sigh. I hear him leave. But wait, my phone is ringing. I think about getting up. but i don't. It can't be him calling, since he doesn't have my number. oh but it is. he went outside to the intercom of my building and left a message. i know this because its not like i actually got off the couch, too lazy and plus he might sense my moving and start yelling "i know you are in there!! Answer the door!", but i heard the message since the intercom is outside my kitchen window.

After all this occurs, I'm thinking of him being way too clingy. Way too persistent. I don't act like that til i've known you for like 3 years or unless i'm drunk. Of course, i could have just answered the door and said "no dude, I don't want to hang out." but that would have been way to easy, and then I wouldn't have anything to post. But really, I feel bad since he has one of those faces. its the baby face that can't hide dissapointment. and like i want to spend the rest of my day feeling like shit cause I dissapointed you. yea, its better to avoid than causing pain for myself.

Many of you may be thinking (i know, there are bilions of you reading this) "wow, you have a huge ego to think that by saying no to someone you are going to be causing them pain." I agree, I do have a huge ego. but past experience has taught me this as well. If its a guy friend, it cool, whatever, you can say no, ditch out on them, they always come back (no I don't treat my guy friends like this all the time, but in the rare instanance that it does occur, they still have my back when I want to start fights at the bar. how sweet!). But if its a guy that you have made out with while drunk, he might be a little hurt that you don't want to hang out when there isn't any vodka or his credit card around. plus, its the baby face. damn baby faces. I knew there was a reason i liked good bone structure. like a nice manly face with a great jaw line. like Jake Gyllenhaal. yum.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Half Year in Review

Its that time again...well not really again since this is the first time. but we are going to make this a semi annual thing, kinda like the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale, except no one is walking around and pouting in lace underwear. unless of course i'm drunk. ANYWAY, 6 months have passed and it's time to review what has happened, what should have happen, and what we can all learn from these past six months of my glorious life. I will be using this rating system:
*Shrug*- jury is still out

Came back from the homeland and avoided Tsunami- Upgrade!

Got fired from boring ass job-Downgrade.

But qualified for unemployment!-Upgrade!

Figured out I can't spell Feb-Downgrade.

Still unemployed and drinking heavily-*shug*

Valentine's spent with single girlfriends eating good food-Upgrade!

Partying lots- Upgrade!

Planning trip to NYC- Upgrade!

Met the boy with girlfriend- at the time upgrade, but in retrospect, more like a downgrade. doesn't qualify with a shrug.

Had loads of fun with boy with girlfriend (will now be refered to as bwgf)- Upgrade!

Got cover story-Upgrade!

Got temp job-downgrade.

no more temp job- Upgrade!

NYC baby!- Upgrade!

no more bwgf- this event is an upgrade, but the whole thing should be forgotten

Started bloging-*shug*

went on dates with boys who never called-downgrade, since it made me doubt my hottness

Drunk called bwgf and then deleted his number-downgrade, still trying to forget about him...

Interviewed for job which i thought was a dead end but turned out to be fab-u-lous-Upgrade!

Met boy who didn't know what alas meant- downgrade. who doesn't know what alas means?

The whole month of May was bad since it was cloudy the whole time. Made you want to listen to Coldplay and jump off a bridge-downgrade.

Started Job, went to lots of meetings and had confrence calls-upgrade

Got promoted twice in two weeks-UPGRADE!

Actually like going to work- super upgrade!!!!!

Went on loads of date with boys!- upgrade

saw bwgf and instead of having a melorose place moment, like I have imagined for the past two months, we acted quite civil to each other- *shug* i really want to throw drinks and toss my hair in slow motion, but alas, didnt happen.

June 29th- found out company working for is being dissolved. what the fuck? first fired, then laid off, all in six months. This clearly means that I was not meant to work, since I hate most jobs and when I do find a job I like, the company disappears. How often do companies disappear? and why not the companies that I hate working for?-Downgrade

on the plus side, i get paid for two months like i'm working 40 hours a week, even though I worked there for three weeks-Upgrade

To review:
job wise-not so hot, since I have worked for a total of 40 days out of 181 days. thats like 20% of the time

boy wise-semi hot, but lets not get our hopes up

money wise- not so hot

drinking and partying- superhot. every week at least twice a week, and sometime up to six times a week. That's like 70% of my time.

Well, at least i have my priorities straight.

this is all very sweet and all

I just got this email:

yes i know, the picture probably doesn't make much sense. this is
what i imagine my non existent child would do if i asked him such questions

What does Love mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked
about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

WTF??? What kind of people hold contests to find the most caring child?? What kind of person agrees to judge it? What parent would enter their child in this? and why? this is a gurantee that all the losing children will have sky high therapy bills. WOW.